By Jack Clark
Q. I have a long, white beard that hangs down below my belt. My wife likes it a lot shorter, but I don’t want to trim it. What can I do?
A. Keep it long and tuck it into your undershirt. That way you can kind of blouse it out as long as you want for any occasion.
Q. I’m retirement age. I bought a bunch of cheap shirts on sale, about two dozen of them. But the first time I washed them they shrunk up so much I can’t tuck them in my pants anymore. What can I do?
A. Buy some extra-long pleated pants and belt them up to your arm pits. Then move to Florida and criticize the government. You’ll fit right in.
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