Off the Leash: January 26, 2017

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The top 10 local news stories of 2016 …

1. Idyllwild has voted to incorporate and become a self-sustaining city. Applications for city jobs are available at the Town Crier. Mayor Max is seeking a running mate.

2. Idyllwild Community Center Grand Opening April 1, 2017.

3. Town Hall sold to the lowest bidder. Will be replaced by a “99 cent store.”

4. Long-time resident, Pete Capparelli wins U.S. Open. Tiger Woods is furious.

5. Vic Sirkin quits Idyllwild Water board after 15 minutes of service.

6. The Candy Cupboard finally expands. It will now be called The Candy Closet.

7. Restaurateur Frank Ferro opens another food emporium — Idyllwild’s first Gentleman’s Club. Unfortunately, no gentlemen could be found.

8. Tree Lighting Ceremony burns Idyllwild to the ground. May be canceled next year.

9. Idyllwild wins bid to host the 2032 Winter Olympics.

10. The Fort retrofits to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. It will now be called “The Fort.” 

These “Fake Stories,” “Alternative Facts” and “Outright Lies” provided by Kellyanne Conway and the Trump Administration.

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