Dear Spiritual Workout,
There is a growing concern about narcissistic behavior and how it
destroys self-esteem.  I am in a situation now where I think from
descriptions online that I am being manipulated by such a person in a
romantic relationship.  Do I run to safety?  Or is this term being
overused?
A Loyal Reader

Dear Loyal,
You have enough self-esteem, at the moment, to question something that
doesn’t actually feel quite right to you (even though you said “think,”
a distinction for another day). If so, then what I care about most is
what prompted you to search online? That’s where the juice is. I am
looking through the lens of inspiration here, also known as gut,
intuition, and feeling. To live as a spiritual being having a human
experience is to live from that place — the heart vs. the head. That’s
especially hard in a society that discounts and demeans it, which is why
I’d strongly encourage practicing living from the heart whenever you can
by valuing feeling more and more and really strengthening that muscle.

As for “growing concern about narcissistic behavior,” well, there’s
hardly enough room to say anything more than how very much beliefs
matter. Whatever one believes about narcissistic behavior — e.g.,
concern about it is growing; it’s a danger; it’s on the rise; I’m
vulnerable; the term is over-used; I can be manipulated against my will
— is what one will experience about narcissistic behavior. I believe
narcissistic behavior doesn’t so much cause but rather exploits — and
exacerbates — low self-esteem. For the record, manipulation isn’t love
so I’d be looking, as soon as possible, at creating shiny, clear
intention for a romantic relationship as well as one for feeling safe.
How does that sound?

Dear Spiritual Workout,
World events are messing with my sleep! I know there’s not too much I
can do to change the events but how would you approach the sleep
problem?

Dragging.

Dear Dragging,

Underneath your dearth of sleep is a set of beliefs you have and are
considering about, as you say, world events. In this way, it is always
helpful, as we see above, to have a clear understanding of whatever it
is we are believing at any given time. Seeing what those beliefs are and
then carefully choosing which ones to retain and which ones to discard
will go a long way toward fixing what’s messing with your sleep. More
immediately even than that would be to establish a habit of “tapping” at
night before you go to sleep. This tool that has so many applications
and one that I’d encourage you to try right away would be to direct the
tapping, before sleep, at “any and all energy that isn’t mine.” It may
or may not be the whole ball of wax, but it’s common for us to
unwittingly pick up thoughts and beliefs of others without realizing it
so dropping that first would reveal what’s left for you. There’s more,
but that’s a good start.

•

Dear Reader

Please send issues and questions you’d like to see addressed in this
column to dearspiritualworkout@spiritualworkout.com. (Confidentiality
assured.) And please send your comments about the column itself to the
editor@towncrier.com.