Dear Spiritual Workout:
I did a lot of work last year to get out of a job that was so stressful because of being overworked and underpaid. I was feeling like I was being taken advantage of, and I got really angry and resentful. The new job started out just fine and I was proud of myself for making the change but now it’s pretty much like where I was before. What am I doing wrong that I’m back in this spot again?
Dear Reader:
When we find ourselves in situations that are not to our liking, especially situations that seem to repeat no matter what we do, the obvious first place to look for the root of the issue is at the family of beliefs one would have to have in order to create the unwanted, chronic experience. And “root” is the point. If you want the weeds out of your garden, cutting them off at the top won’t cut it. Cutting them off at the top is managing the problem, not solving it. It all looks good for a spell, then returns to needing more management, more cutting at the top. Again, and again. In our everyday lives, we might manage problems in all sorts of ways like powering through them or taking medication or avoiding them altogether, which is different from solving the problems, which is what SW practice is about. Pull the weeds up from the roots to rid yourself of the weeds in your garden and identify and change the beliefs you have to rid your Self of unwanted chronic experiences — be they bad relationships, not enough money, strife and struggle at large, or anything at all. Changing the beliefs we have that create unwanted experiences is actually quite easy to do. It takes effort, but it’s oh so doable.
Dear Spiritual Workout:
It looks like my husband has lied over the entirety of our four-year relationship. So, the trust has been broken and I’m looking for help with how to forgive and let go because I’m not sure I can.
Dear Reader:
Forgiveness is one of those subjects that seems to look very different through a Spiritual Workout lens. Nobody likes to be done wrong, of course. Yet when we believe that we create our own realities — consciously or otherwise — we take responsibility for what shows up. Even if it’s something unwanted and, often, especially then. It doesn’t mean we are responsible for what happens to us; it means we’re responsible for the fact that it showed up and how we respond to it. So, it starts with taking responsibility and then goes to how we believe that there’s a reason for everything/that there are no accidents. In this sense, things happen for us, not to us — a deep inquiry in itself. It then goes to our practice of no judgment, and it is actually letting go of our judgment(s) about what has happened that fuels forgiveness. When we let go of he’s untrustworthy, this is a tragedy, life is unfair — and the like — there’s actually nothing left to forgive.
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Dear Reader
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