Dear Spiritual Workout:
How do I stop talking badly about people? It seems to have become a bad habit to talk negatively about people whenever they aren’t around. This isn’t who I want to be, but I don’t know how to stop.
Dear Reader:
The true definition of a habit is something we do that we are unaware of doing. As soon as we become aware of it, it’s no longer a habit, it’s a choice. Got that? “I’m aware of the fact that I keep on doing this thing I say I don’t want to do, but I’m doing it anyway.” So, in truth, now you are talking negatively about others on purpose in spite of the fact you say you don’t want to. None of us every does anything that doesn’t serve us in some way, so one way to approach “stopping” is to ask your Self what you get out of the behavior? For example: Camaraderie? Connection? Belonging? Whatever you answer, intend for that. Intend to experience what you’re getting out of the negative talk in far more satisfying ways. Another way to “stop” would be to look at what beliefs you have about why you are doing what you say you don’t want to do. Again, for possible example: “My friends won’t like me;” “I won’t have any fun;” “It’s not hurting anyone.” Another angle of the same thing.
Dear Spiritual Workout:
I’m downsizing from a big house to a tiny place and this is my choice. However, I’m dreading going through the boxes and boxes of photos of my kids and my life during my first marriage that I’ve been lugging around for years now. How can I find the strength to go through them and throw stuff out? I’m afraid of all the feels.
Dear Reader:
To find the strength, as you say, be present. Fear is mostly “what-if” questions about an unwanted future such as, what if I start crying and never stop or get filled with regret? As you see, this line of thinking is paralyzing. Now to the feels, the juice of our practice! Listen to inspiration is the concept in play here for inspiration/guidance/gut/intuition are all one hundred percent about feeling. The spiritual part of SW is the acknowledgement of the being part of the human beings we are, which we connect to, you guessed it, with feeling. Using this downsizing project — we are here for a reason, after all, no accidents — as a means to grow your listen to inspiration muscle would work wonders.
Dear Spiritual Workout:
I feel like I need more boundaries, I tend to give myself away to people and want to do better, but it seems so hard. How can I start to build myself up?
Dear Reader:
I’m glad you said “start,” as there is a lot to this. First, though, drop the belief that it’s hard. That’s just extra rocks in your backpack for no reason. Next, “I feel like I need more” is the seed of an intention. What would more boundaries offer? Cultivate that.
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Dear Reader
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