Dr Know It All can answer any of your questions. He just happens to know everything. Dr Know It All selects a few letters from readers to answer each week. Readers should feel free to mail the doctor a question at the Town Crier ([email protected]). The doctor remains anonymous.


Dear Dr Know It All:

Why do so many Idyllwild businesses seem to come and go so quickly?


Rocky soil, short roots.


Dear Dr Know It All:

I heard that Steven Spielberg is making a movie in Idyllwild as an homage to Hitchcock’s “The Birds.” He’s going to title it “The Squirrels.”  Is that true?


Partly true. The project is scheduled to be an epic trilogy, in four parts. They’re working on the math. It will be based on a true story, entitled “The Squirrels,” “The Coyotes” and “The Cats.” Unfortunately, the movies will not be suitable for children as there will be lots of gore, blood and excessive, gratuitous violence.  No human life will survive the animal attacks and the forest will return to its previously pristine state. Bears will return … and Lemon Lilies.


Dear Dr Know It All:

Was everyone hallucinating when they were painting the Idyllwild deer or is it just me?


It’s important to realize that almost everyone in Idyllwild is high. At least by a mile. And, yes, it is also “you.” 


Dear Dr Know It All:

My little boy asks me why he has to share things with his little sister. How would you handle this?


You could tell him that eventually his little sister may become very wealthy and will ignore his pleas for any assistance in later years, when he’s elderly, indigent and fighting obesity. 

But my choice, each time he doesn’t share nicely, would be to take away everything from his little sister and give it all to him. Then immediately take her to Dairy Queen.


Dear Dr Know It All:

Why doesn’t everyone else realize that we are all just one being?


Because “everyone” wants “everyone else” to know what “they” know. It’s just too noisy out there.  No one’s really listening.



Dear Dr Know It All:

I have several very bad habits that I can’t seem to get rid of. What can I do?


A relatively quick and painless way to rid yourself of that particular nasty habit is to replace it with another bad habit that you might not yet have tried. If you have the will you’ll be able to replace your old bad habit with a new one. There. Gone.