By Jack Clark

Fashion Advisor

Q. I have a long, white beard that hangs down below my belt. My wife likes it a lot shorter, but I don’t want to trim it. What can I do?

--Jeff, Jamul

A. Keep it long and tuck it into your undershirt. That way you can kind of blouse it out as long as you want for any occasion. 

Q. I’m retirement age. I bought a bunch of cheap shirts on sale, about two dozen of them. But the first time I washed them they shrunk up so much I can’t tuck them in my pants anymore. What can I do?

--Arthur, Hemet

A. Buy some extra-long pleated pants and belt them up to your arm pits. Then move to Florida and criticize the government. You’ll fit right in.

Email your fashion questions to jack@towncrier.com.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.